Tom's Honey

Hi everyone!

Ehawk here, back with my quadrennial communiqué about Tommy’s birthday. Buckle up, because this is a year when “a milestone birthday in regular human years” happens to collide with his (alleged) “Leap Year birthday.” That’s big. This aligning of the stars will only happen a handful of times in his lifetime! And although he always protests calling it a birthday, I think such a momentous occasion calls for a grand celebration. Hope you can join us!

And if you don’t want to read my lengthy ramblings, feel free to skip to the pertinent details at the end. 😉

So what’s the plan?!

I didn’t have to think very hard about what type of event/activity Tommy would love most. The metrics: must be outside, cool weather, shoes optional, fire non-negotiable, food cooked in cast iron, sleeping under the stars preferred. Full stop. (Throw in a haunting loon call or two and I might have made his head explode, but alas, season, geography, and convenience prevailed).

At this point, you may be feeling nervous as some of his more infamous rants echo through your head. After all, this is a person who says, “If you need a tent for camping, you might as well get a hotel,” “All I need is a tarp on the ground,” “My dream New Year’s Eve is to make everyone hike 60 miles up to the top of the mountain to camp in the dead of winter,” etc. But don’t worry, I got you. I was able to find a place where we can have it all. Sleep on the ground like Tommy? Check. Pitch your own tent? Check. Shepherds wagons? Check. Tipis? Check. Log cabins? Check. Stately antebellum two-story brick manor? Check. (He detests the word glamping, but I’m in the business of trying to please everyone, so here we are!)

Enter Boone Monument Village, “an authentically recreated 54-acre village deeply immersed in history welcoming overnight visitors as it did 200 years ago with Daniel Boone, Lewis and Clark, Sacagawea, Zebulon Pike, Gottfried Duden, and other illustrious personalities.” If that isn’t the most Tommy-esque description ever, I don’t know what is. And the best part? It is only an hour from STL!

Camping, in early March? You know that’s winter, right?

Yessiree. And I don’t know what more to say beyond have you MET Tommy? He is a self-described chionophile after all. So while there is a chance it might not be ideal weather for camping, with good planning and mindfulness of the weather, it is possible.

Say no more, I am SO in. How do I reserve my spot?!

While I am incredibly excited to have found such a seemingly perfect space to host this gathering, space is unfortunately somewhat limited. While I do have the entire site held for our group to book — yes, all 54 acres! — there are only a handful of indoor options, a handful of glamping options, and a limited number of pitch-your-own-tent campsites available. To complicate things further, some of the options are only available in warmer weather conditions and thus we’ll have to wait until a week or two before the date to see if we can use them. It’s a bit of a logistical nightmare of Tetris-ing people + spaces + weather-dependent options together, but I’m totally up for the challenge! BUT all of that to say… if you are excited to join us, I encourage you to contact me ASAP to reserve your spot, as it is possible the entire site could get booked up.

Phone/text: 314-724-6421
Email: emilyrhawkins@gmail.com

Are kids invited?

Short answer, YES, 100%! Long answer, still yes, but with one small caveat: the residences and log cabins are “living history museums” that are filled with 1700s and 1800s antiques. Not only are these incredibly valuable and fragile, they are impossible to replace; so for that reason, Boone Monument Village does not allow children under 16 in any of those spaces (unless they are very mature). Kids are welcome outside — which is where we will be hanging out the majority of the time — and can sleep in personal tents and any of the wagons/tipis. So in short, we’d love to have them at the party; they just can’t be in the historical spaces. (I know Tom Tom would never want a piece of history to be broken on his watch!)

What’s the food/drink situation?

Tommy will surely cook up a big pot of something over the fire and/or roast a hunk of meat on a spit to share with everyone. Beyond that, I recommend that everyone in attendance bring whatever they like to drink + one side dish or snack in a quantity that can be shared with the group. If you are an extreme planner, and like me, have concerns like “WHAT IF EVERYONE BRINGS CHIPS” feel free to share your food plans here so others can see; otherwise, feel free to throw caution to the wind and just show up with something. We will have access to fridges if you’d rather not haul around coolers of ice to keep your food cool, but I encourage you to bring small coolers to keep drinks nearby as the fridges are a bit far from the fire pit.

What else do I need to bring?

This largely depends on your choice of sleeping accommodations. In general, if you plan to pitch your own tent, you will need to bring everything you require (tent, sleeping bag, etc.). If you plan to reserve one of the wagons or tipis, they will include beds/bedding but you may need to bring additional items for warmth. And if you plan to snag one of the coveted indoor options, everything will be provided. Again, everyone should be mindful of the weather and prepare/dress accordingly for an outdoor event. Beyond that, I recommend you bring folding camp chairs for comfortable sitting around the fire pit.

What happens if there is inclement weather that day?

The party will go on regardless of the weather forecast! As Tommy always says, “My five favorite types of weather are wind, gray, cold, fog, rain, and snow. Yes, I know that’s 6.” Therefore, nothing short of a natural disaster will stop us from gathering! But since it isn’t terribly fun to sit in the pouring rain for 24 hours, we will have access to a large covered patio and will make that the hangout spot if there is precipitation that day.