Friends, Mystery Meat Enthusiasts, and Horrified Onlookers:
We hope the ominous QR code you received via mail finds you well. Now that you’re here, we hope you’re excited for the 2nd Annual Mystery Meat Party! Please see below for details, and for our returning guests — be sure to note some very important updates to the rules and general structure of the event.
Sincerely,
Your Hosts
The Details
What: A Mystery Meat Party
When: March 18th, 2023 @ 5pm
Where: 6152 Washington Boulevard, St. Louis, MO 63112
Don’t forget to RSVP at the bottom of the page!
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a mystery meat party anyway?
A celebratory event in which participants provide a shared dish containing an unspecified meat product (UMP). Following consumption of the collective offerings, individual attendees will work to identify the primary meat product included in each dish.
Is this event still technically a birthday party? I thought Claire’s birthday was in December?
Due to scheduling constraints and unprecedented logistical delays within the planning committee, this event had to be postponed from its customary beginning-of-the-year date. It is, however, is still widely considered a birthday celebration for its founder.
What’s the goal? To taste good or to be as weird as possible?
Enjoyment is the guiding principle of the meat party. The primary goal is to have a good time. The current consensus of our experts is that, when in doubt, the choice is left up to the discretion of individual attendees.
How will the submissions be judged?
Submissions will not be judged per se, although there will be prizes awarded for various “achievements”. All attendees will be asked to infer the primary meat of each provided dish. Submissions will be reviewed by our experts and the attendee who correctly identifies the most primary meats will be promptly notified.
What’s the working definition of the word “meat” for this context?
Meat is flesh, broadly defined.
Is seafood considered meat?
This topic has been and continues to be hotly debated by our team of experts. The current consensus of our experts is that, given the broad definition of meat as flesh, seafood is indeed meat. You are welcome to submit a formal comment to our experts regarding this determination. However, we respectively remind attendees of the guiding principle of the meat party.
How many submissions can I contribute?
We recommend at least one submission. There is no upper limit. However, the dishes should be provided in a quantity that can be enjoyed by all attendees. Please note that this quantity is likely less than a 13x9 pan of lasagna. We respectively remind attendees of the guiding principle of the meat party.
Can I mix meats (e.g. beef + pork) within the same submission?
We strongly encourage attendees to provide submissions in which the bulk composition contains no less than 80% of the primary meat.
Do I need to worry about basic food safety precautions?
Yes. We respectively remind attendees of the guiding principle of the meat party.
What amenities will be provided for me to cook, heat, present, or serve my meat?
The following standard kitchen items will automatically be made available for reheating dishes in your own container: gas stovetop/range, oven, and microwave. The following specialty items MAY be made available for your use: charcoal grill, indoor fireplace, outdoor firepit, crème brûlée torch, 4.5 liter electric deep fryer, dishwasher (for sous vide). If you require any of these specialty items, you must touch base with one of the hosts prior to the event.
Any meat-containment vessels (MCVs), serving tools, garnishings, accouterments, or other items needed to plate/present your dish should be provided by the attendee.
Is it possible to avoid specific kinds of meat (such as horse) if desired?
Absolutely. Given the guiding principle of the meat party, consumption of any dish is by no means required. However, to retain the integrity of the meat identification aspect of the event, our resident experts have agreed that no specifics may be revealed prior to the tallying of attendee submissions. As such, we only ask attendees to report the broad nature of the animal and the parts included in their submission into two broad categories: Standard and Exotic.
We classify Standard animals as chicken, pork, beef, lamb, turkey, duck, salmon, tuna, crab, and shrimp. All other animals will be classified as Exotic.
We classify Standard parts as any muscle or fat sourced from a torso or limb. We classify any parts that do not fit this definition as Exotic.
For example, a ground beef lasagna would be classified as a Standard (animal), Standard (part); whereas a zebra liver would be an Exotic (animal), Exotic (part). See Fig. 1 below for further examples.
All dishes will be visibly marked with these specifications prior to serving. Given this information, we encourage attendees to use their own discretion.
The preparation and serving of brain of any kind is prohibited due to food safety concerns.
Why have so many new animals/meats been added to the Standard animal category?!
Ask one of the hosts (or Crystal Gammon) about the infamous “Turkey Loophole” of 2022.
Erm, I’m a vegetarian.
While vegetarians are most welcome at the meat party, we strongly suggest they provide their own food.
What’s the dress code for a mystery meat party?
The dress code is “celebratory”. We respectively remind attendees of the guiding principle of the meat party.
What can I bring to the party, besides my meat?
We will provide some basic alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverage options, with an estimated two per attendee. We encourage attendees to supplement these offerings with additional beverages to share with the group. Any additional non-meat foodstuffs are not required, but may be provided at the discretion of individual attendees. We respectively remind attendees of the guiding principle of the meat party.
Will there be prizes?
Yes.
I’m not sure I’ll be able to identify many meats. Will there be any other contests to partake in?
We respectively decline to comment on this topic at this time. However, we strongly remind attendees of the guiding principle of the meat party.
Fig. 1 Updated with 2023 changes.
